What the heck can I eat?!

So, Ketut asked what I eat. I started to reply to her very kind words to the last post. It seemed more appropriate here, because I'll have more room to, well, spread out.

Way back in 2005, I fell head over tail for a weight management food, which is high carb, as we know now. Maybe it's because I was depressed (my brother and I had just been abandoned). Maybe it's because we had to live with new cats (four of them!!!). Maybe it's because it was so darned tasty. Whatever the reason, I was hooked. It's sad, now that I think about it. I got up in the morning, ready at the bowl. The girls filled it, never knowing they were feeding the monkey that climbed on my back.

Fast forward to 2007. In two years, I gained more than 10 pounds! They tried moving the bowl up higher, I just learned to climb up onto the table.

But you know all of this (or you'll scroll back to the beginning of this blog and catch up).

Now I'm on "kitty atkins." I eat roughly three ounces of high-fat, high-protein moist food originally developed for diabetic cats. We all eat moist food three times a day. In the morning, Jess mixes in about a 1/4 tsp of fiber with my food because I'm a little, erm, bound up. Everyone else gets all-day access to a high-protein kibble called Innova Evo. At night, Marlene will give me a 1/4 cup of the kibble in my own little bowl. The monkey isn't happy. The monkey wants a bigger bowl.

Sometimes I'll stand next to my small bowl and stare up to the counter where I know, I just know, the big bowl of kibble is sitting. I look at Jess, then at the empty bowl, then back at the counter. If that doesn't work, I'll put my paw in the empty bowl. "Please, sir, can I have some more?" I'm not proud of it, but it works. One of them will cave and give me a little handful. (Jess says it's a "happy handful." I'm not sure what she means, but it makes me happy.)

That's what I eat. Or what they give me to eat. If I had thumbs...

Someone call Kirstie Alley!!!

Faithful fans, friends, family, just call me Fatboy Slim!

Jess and Marlene hauled me down to the vet and got me on the scale. Jess thought I'd be happier if she carried me rather than put me in the carrier. I think she was mistaken, but that's neither here nor there. I think she just wanted to show off her yoga muscles. She put me in that damned harness which kept me from bolting up the stairs (yes, even one of my girth can bolt when properly motivated. See the dog incident from a few months ago).

Sorry, I know you're waiting for the magic number but I have to lead up to these things.

So she carries me out the car, while Marlene carries Doonesbury in a carrier. He's also due for a weigh-in, but he's trying to put weight on. He's 16, hyperthyroid, and has a dodgy tummy or something. They've been squirting steroids down his throat for a month. Jess carries me down the block, trailing "yes it's a cat, a big fat cat" comments in her wake, and into the vet's waiting room. Thank Bast there were no dogs waiting there! They brought me back to the scale and plunked me down and...

...it's killing you, isn't it!

29.7 pounds!!!

::the crowd goes wild::

Thank you! Thank you!

I have so far to go, but I'm really proud of my progress. My belly measured 28 inches this morning. I can't remember what it was before, but I hope it's smaller. They tested my pee again and I'm still healthy. The vet says I can only have 1/8 cup of kibble from now on and she wants me to get on a treadmill. I kid you not. Marlene says she'll walk with me. Jess says "good luck with that!"

Thank you, again, for your love and support!

Sincerely,

slim.
ps: Doonesbury gained almost 2 pounds in a month!