Thursday, April 24, 2008

Just how big is an inch?

Jess came at me with a tape measure the other day. I didn't know what she was up to, she just threw it around my belly. Naturally, I moved away, stepping over the tape like it was the finish line and I was the last runner.

"No, Mosby, come here, I need to measure your waist!"

What for? New pants? Come on, who needs to know.

"Mosby, sit still! I'm sure you're thinner! Let me prove it!"

I stepped over the tape, once again, refusing to look, refusing to acknowledge my girth.

"Mosby, so help me... Good boy!"

She tightened the tape. She did it again. She measured a third time. Lord, woman, don't keep a cat in suspense like this!

"Mosby! Oh, Mosby! You lost an whole inch off your waist! You're waist is only 26 inches!"

Then she gave me crunchies. Which I ate as though they were the last ones on the planet.

So, congratulate me, kids! I'm down an inch!

Friday, April 18, 2008

My workout video

I think I mentioned that Jess wants to get me on a treadmill. Now she has an exercise video for me to watch. Here's Buddy "out for a walk." At least he gets to stay inside, with a soundtrack! I get dragged outside on a harness passed Happy, the neighbor dog who doesn't get to go inside.

But I'm proud of Buddy. He's workin' it! He's moving his fluffy orange butt!

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Massage me, baby

I loooooove being massaged. Seriously, I demand it. I look straight at Jess and squawk at her until she caves! Then she gets down on the floor, puts me between her thighs, and rubs. She starts on my back, rubbing little circles along my spine, loosening up the tight muscles. Then she hits the spot between my shoulder blades. aaaahhhhh. Next, it's my neck and head, here she really digs in.

Then something happens and I end up on my back, legs in the air. She scratches my chest and armpits until I freak out and start chewing my arms. Then (and this is my favorite part), she runs her hands under my head and massages my neck and head again. ooooooohhhh. No, no, don't stop. Wait, get my cheeks, yesyesyes.


Wait! Where are you going? You're not done!