Sunday, June 10, 2007

Is it really walking if you have to carry me?

Jess got me a harness. She delights in pointing out that it's a medium sized dog harness. I really don't like it. It goes around my neck, across my chest and back, and under my arms. It's mildly humiliating. I feel slightly better when my brother Stoney wears his. Somehow, he manages to walk out of one side and get his front legs tangled. Jess has to stop him and redirect his paws, each time saying "I just don't get how you manage to do this!" Cracks me up.

Jess took us out yesterday. She straps us in, then opens the back gate. The Alley Cats take this as an invitation to walk it, eat my catnip, and mark everything they can get their faces on. I was determined to defend my turf, so I plunked my fat butt down and refused to move. Jess is much bigger than me, though. She picked me up and carried me out into the alley. All 30 pounds of me. So demoralizing. At least it's the alley. Only the Alley Cats and Stoney can see me.

Then there was the dog. I was fine with the cats and the grass and the interesting smells, but I draw the line at canines! The neighbor dog started barking and running and I literally ran out of my harness! I have never been so frightened! I've also never moved so fast. Exercise is all well and good, but a guy could have a heart attack!

I really should put some pictures of me up here. You probably want to see me in the harness. I'll see what I can do.

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