I did promise, didn't I

Jess held me to my promise. On a cool June evening, she trussed me up and took my picture. I am not happy about this, people. Look at me. And the lead is pink, fercryinoutloud!

I'm a cat, and a declawed one at that. What makes her think I want to "explore" the alley. That's what she keeps saying: "C'mon, Mosby, don't you want to explore?" No, I want to sit on my fat ass and watch Oprah.

So she picked me up and carried me out into the alley. As soon as she put me down, I bolted back in. As far in as that hell-pink tether would let me.

Jess seems to think that if she can get my brother Stoney to go, I'll be more confident or something. You know what, Stoney's a great guy, but he's the active, outdoorsey type. You know, the guy who's always inviting you to go kayaking or rock climbing or antiquing (if he could a) drive, b) talk, and c) go out without human supervision). He's all about this "going for a walk" thing. He even likes the alley cats.

Well, once Jess carried me out for the second time, I took the opportunity to eat some grass, walk about 15 feet, and pee in a wildly inappropriate place. Stoney chatted up the black cat for a while, rolled in the gravel, then took in the sun. I was more than ready to go in after about 15 minutes, so I headed back to the gate.

I will give Jess credit for trying. Each trip out like this lasts a little longer. I did check out more of the grassy area by the Reverend's car, so I guess I accomplished something.

I'll also give Jess that she takes the harness off before she lets me back in the house. I just don't think I could take the other cats seeing me like this.

Is it really walking if you have to carry me?

Jess got me a harness. She delights in pointing out that it's a medium sized dog harness. I really don't like it. It goes around my neck, across my chest and back, and under my arms. It's mildly humiliating. I feel slightly better when my brother Stoney wears his. Somehow, he manages to walk out of one side and get his front legs tangled. Jess has to stop him and redirect his paws, each time saying "I just don't get how you manage to do this!" Cracks me up.

Jess took us out yesterday. She straps us in, then opens the back gate. The Alley Cats take this as an invitation to walk it, eat my catnip, and mark everything they can get their faces on. I was determined to defend my turf, so I plunked my fat butt down and refused to move. Jess is much bigger than me, though. She picked me up and carried me out into the alley. All 30 pounds of me. So demoralizing. At least it's the alley. Only the Alley Cats and Stoney can see me.

Then there was the dog. I was fine with the cats and the grass and the interesting smells, but I draw the line at canines! The neighbor dog started barking and running and I literally ran out of my harness! I have never been so frightened! I've also never moved so fast. Exercise is all well and good, but a guy could have a heart attack!

I really should put some pictures of me up here. You probably want to see me in the harness. I'll see what I can do.

A little play goes a long way

I've rediscovered playing.

It sounds simple, silly even. I'm an inactive guy. I love lying around, snuggling, sleeping, etc.
That's part of why I've gotten so big. You only burn so many calories while sleeping. Yes, cats sleep up to 18 hours a day. But when you spend the next 6 hours eating, there's not a whole lot of opportunity for exercise.

That's changing. I like play. I have to remind the girls that I want to play. Usually it's late at night and I know they're getting ready for bed, but that's when I get my second wind! Jess gets the laser pointer out and I chase it for about 10 or 15 seconds. That gets my heart rate up. Then we play with ribbons, strings, feathers, her hair, whatever dangles, for a good 5 to 10 minutes. I'm usually on my back, feet up, belly spread. It's not pretty, but no one look attractive when they're really working out. (Jess has threatened to take pictures of this. I've hidden the camera in the hopes she'll forget.)

Every little bit helps.